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It’s strange looking back at this picture. Thinking about how the whole world was at the edge of massive upheaval and none of us truly prepared. I was on holiday with my family visiting one of the Canary Islands. Trying to pull my focus away from the world of tattoo. On this particular morning I drove out to the dunes with Marley. We wanted to enjoy the sunrise and get some pictures on which I could draw. In the background storm clouds gathered and by the afternoon a weather warning advising people to stay indoors.
The sand dunes we had visited in the morning had made their way over the years from the Sahara Desert. Now their distant relatives were making the pilgrimage. The sky turned orange and blocked out the sun, visibility dropped to 100m and life somewhat ground to stop. Our flight home got cancelled leaving us stranded on the island for an extra few days. Once the storm had passed a layer of sand covered everything and so the cleanup process began. Each person responsible for their home, business, car and community.
It was at this point that the quiet rumbling of a virus travelling from Asia was starting to grow louder. A hotel on a neighbouring island had to be locked down when a confirmed case of the now well-publicised COVID 19 was detected. A new storm on the horizon.
In just over 3 weeks from taking the picture of Marley on the dunes in a foreign land, half the world was either in or heading into a lockdown.
The response to what I now call the “Big Pause” has varied for people, from “the best thing that’s happened” to “ the worst thing I’ve ever been through”. For me personally, I’ve hovered somewhere in between. The couple of years preceding 2020 had been challenging for me to say the least. Early 2019 I hit a point where I realised things couldn’t continue as they were. I made some big lifestyle adjustments, spoke openly to people about what I was going through and began to study and put in to practice behaviours that would help me. This meant that I felt well equipped coming into lockdown and with the threat of uncertainty that continues to loom somewhat now.
I know that a lot of people have suffered with their mental health because of this situation and running away from this fact or trying to fix it with ________ (alcohol, drugs, gambling… fill in the blank) won’t help in the long run. Be honest with yourself and those you trust. Be willing to change. We may still be in the middle of this storm but knowing that it will pass should bring comfort and knowing that we are responsible for cleaning it up brings purpose.
Life is a lot like riding a bicycle. Once you’ve got momentum it’s easy to stay upright but our eyes are always on the road ahead. If you’re forced to stop then a foot is touching the floor but we can finally take a second to enjoy the view all around. This is how lockdown felt for me.
I found a new rhythm for the days. It was slower and I began to really appreciate the smaller moments in my day that usually flash by without notice. The taste of the first drop of coffee that hits my tongue. The sound of the birds as I lie somewhere between awake and a dream. The sound of my daughters as they play in the garden.
I’ve wasted so many of these moments because I’ve been caught in the current of life. I know life is beginning to return to how it once was, but I’m not returning as the same person.
During the lockdown, I dedicated myself to painting and digital artwork. I spread my wings into air that had no expectation of me. As a result, I feel that I have grown more in the last 4 months as an artist than I did in the last 4 years. I have a greater understanding of what I am trying to achieve with each piece of work I create and a greater purpose to carry it. I’ve been able to explore avenues that have always tempted me but time worked against me. Taking my design for a tattoo out of the skin and using ink in cotton.
My granddad and nan had been together nigh on 60 years when he travelled to the other side. At his funeral a speech was made where they touched on what allowed their love to endure. What I found out that day, which has stayed with me ever since is that the key isn’t staying in love. It’s falling in love with the same person each time.
I don’t know if I’ve ever really fallen out of love with tattooing. But I do know that when UN1TY Tattoo opened it’s doors again at the beginning of this week. I looked at it with fresh eyes and felt more love for it than ever before.
If you are interested in being tattooed by me, take a look at ‘The best blackwork tattoo.’
